Unexcited. Apathetic. Indifferent. Disenchanted. Essentially, bored to death. Lets sprinkle that with some occasional morbid sadness and a giant side of frustration. Unfortunately, this was an accurate description of me for quite some time until November of 2016.
Lets rewind this a little bit. As you may know, I recently made a giant career change and transitioned full-time into the world of makeup artistry. Lets rewind things even a little further. In 2008, I was blessed with an incredible opportunity, in a great company to work alongside a STELLAR human being. I held this position for almost nine years. That’s right, I practically did the same job for almost a decade (and I just turned 30 last week). Along the way, promises of career advancements and of new opportunities were made. Every time I inquired about a new position within the company, or an opportunity for growth, I was asked to be patient. Sometimes, I was told I didn’t have the necessary skills. I was reminded that the company was growing, and that new, more fitting opportunities would eventually come my way. I believed it. I patently reminded myself that I was paying my dues while simultaneously, like a mantra, repeating all the reasons why I was grateful for my job. I was very close to my boss who is an amazing leader and mentor, I was getting rewarded handsomely for my time, the benefits were awesome, and there was quite the air of prestige associated with working for this company. I drank the Kool-aid, day after day, month after month, year after year. By year five, shortly after I had graduated from college, that once sweet and refreshing Kool-aid started becoming bitter. My time in this role had began to expire as I started dreading going to work every day. I could expect the same chain of events, with the same people, in the same place, doing the exact same thing I had been doing for the last several years, with no hope of any of it changing any time soon. I realized a deep bitterness had nested in my chest as I questioned why I wasn’t being considered for advancement. Maybe I just didn’t have what it takes. Maybe I wasn’t mature enough. Maybe, despite the feeling that I had paid my dues, I hadn’t earned it. Maybe it was a gender thing. Or maybe, just maybe, it just wasn’t my path but I was so attached to the outcome that I had become frozen with fear.
At some point about two years ago, while still employed at the company in subject and occasionally freelancing for M.A.C. as a makeup artist, Own Your Glam was born. Out of a deep need for creative expression and passion for the expression of beauty, I unknowingly embarked on a quest to find what I really wanted to do with my life. I initially thought I wanted to be a blogger; however, I discovered along the way that writing about style and cosmetics, and doing tutorial videos wasn’t giving me the sense of accomplishment, nor the satisfaction that I hoped it would. It was a safe side-gig. Also, dedicating a fraction of my attention to this creative endeavor wasn’t masking the dissatisfaction that I felt every day at my nine-to-five. If anything, that frustration was infecting pretty much every other aspect of my life. I would talk about it to my mom, I would write about it in my journal, I would seek advice from self-help blogs and books. I was SO ANGRY at myself for being such a coward and not taking any action to change the direction of my life; I felt stuck; frozen. I would try to reason with myself as my fear desperately tried to convince me of all the reasons why I shouldn’t leave the job that I was supposed to love. I felt so ungrateful. That same fear kept me up at night and called me unworthy, untalented, not good enough, delusional. There were days that I quite literally felt like I was losing my mind. Was it depression? Maybe. Anxiety? For sure. The truth is, I was fucking terrified at taking this leap of faith and jumping 100 percent into this new, and unknown reality that I knew existed, but I lacked the courage to let go of my old life and to step way out of my comfort zone.
The universe has a funny was of doing things sometimes, especially when you need a good slap in the face to shake you out of your stupor. After a series of events I knew I had to get out. I put a plan together on paper and started making moves, I invested in my own makeup kit and began taking private appointments to glam people up. You want to know what helped me the most? I sought out the people in my life that are following their dreams and asked them for advice. I asked them to tell me their story. From the AT&T rep turned bad ass photographer (Woosupreme), to the counselor who listened to the call of God and opened up her own school for autistic children (S.T.A.R.S.), to the teacher who became one of Miami’s top fashion bloggers (The Fashion Poet), and several other people who I’ve had the privilege to meet along my journey, THIS has been the most inspiring and empowering tool that has helped me get to the next level. Those people are living, breathing proof that the life you desperately wish for does in fact exist. Don’t get me wrong now, this isn’t one of those “leave your job and do what you want, even if you go broke” type of posts. Those people will attest to the enormous sacrifices that are required to take a few steps back in the name of your personal growth and development. Those people, will also tell you that success is not a cookie cutter recipe and it wont happen overnight. You need a plan. You need to get yourself in the best position possible to succeed. Get a support system, save every dollar, pay off any existing financial debt, acquire the skills that you need to make this dream a reality. Can’t make the transition overnight? Then make it a side-hustle first. My point is, take a step in the direction of the things that captivate, move, and inspire you. These things are not coincidental, they are deeply tied to your purpose and to your position within the universe. Once you start making these moves, the universe responds, boldly. Doors begin to open up, opportunities start finding you. Once, you start moving in that direction, you will feel more comfortable in your own skin and you will attract people and scenarios that you never dreamed possible.
I’ve been somewhat private regarding my transition from my “old life” to this new one. For the past few months, I’ve been totally immersed in my world trying to navigate the new challenges that come with new opportunities. I’ve been discovering facets of my personality I didn’t know existed. Never in a million years did I think this would be my life when I took my first job in cosmetics ten years ago, first with Clinique, then with M.A.C. In my mind, those were just odd jobs that were getting me through college as I pursued a mass communications degree. Then came this blog which was helping me save my sanity, and now my friends, I am dedicated 110 percent of the time to the thing I kept coming back to, which is the expression and celebration of beauty. In retrospect, I am so happy I didn’t get what I thought I wanted, time and time again. This helped me grow in humility as well as in patience, and it helped me understand that sometimes to move forward, we need to let go of the attachment of what we think our lives should be and open our eyes to the possibilities to see what our lives can be.
Do you have a similar story? Do you need advice? Maybe some motivation? Lets connect! Shoot me an email at OwnYourGlamMiami@gmail.com.
I want to thank Andrea from Bella Mente Photography for gifting me these beautiful images. She is a master of her craft and an absolute pleasure to work with. Check out her work here!
As always, much love, and stay fabulous!